People often get “buyer’s remorse” after signing up for an Ironman, and I was no exception. For the next few months, I vacillated over whether this was really a good idea or not. we were unpacking and trying to work on the old house to get it sold, and I was trying to find a new job. Still, I came up with a strategy for my season, starting with Oceanside 70.3 in April. This would make for a long season, since Ironman was Dec 3rd, but I knew I would need as much endurance building as I could get.
I had been getting sick once a month since November leading up to Oceanside. I did everything I could think of to not catch more nasty germs. But about two weeks before the race, I got sick again and about a week out, I started feeling it in my chest. I went to the Dr. and got an antibiotic just in case my symptoms got worse. A few days before we left, I decided to go ahead and take them as a precaution. That was a bad decision.
Race morning was sunny and beautiful. The weather was supposed to be pretty mild. I was anticipating a much faster time than St. George considering the course had less climbing. Unfortunately, the illnesses I’d had, plus not fueling or hydrating very well, knocked me down on the hills the second half of the bike. I embarrassingly had to walk my bike up one of them. The course was absolutely beautiful, which was a great distraction. California had a lot of rain that spring, and riding through Camp Pendleton was amazing. Many of the volunteers were from the base, and it was great having buff young men call me ma’am and ask me if I needed anything. I felt great when I finally got out on the run, just happy to be off the bike. But, just like St. George, many of my tri friends were way ahead of me. Feeling alone, while the temperature was really heating up, I struggled on the second lap. I crossed the finish line 15 minutes faster than St. George, although my run was slower. I didn’t come close to my expectations. I again wondered if doing an IM was a good idea.This was another race where I felt like I took one step forward during the race, and two steps backward after. Not only that, but taking the antibiotic wreaked havoc in my body and I got my first ever UTI during/after the race. All year long, I was susceptible to UTI’s any time I had an open water swim followed by a long bike ride. Thankfully, my chiropractor told me about LDM 100, which is made from a Native American Herb to kill harmful bacteria and viruses in the body. Once I started taking that on a regular basis, I didn’t catch another cold until after Ironman. It also killed UTI symptoms before they got too bad. It was awesome!
I continued battling the negative committee in my head, who had almost daily meetings. I tried finding motivational books to read. I even tried firing the committee. The problem was, I just didn’t believe any of the positive things I tried to tell myself. The negative always won out. I always went back to the same thought patterns - you are disgusting, despicable, worthless, unlovable, and everyone would be so much better off without you. It got to the point that the committee no longer had to meet. I was so convinced these negative statements were true, I didn’t have to consciously think about them anymore. While depression didn’t seem as strong in 2017 as the past few, I just had that constant thought in the back of my head - when is it going to be too much? When will I finally crash for good, or step off that ledge? I always felt like I was one small baby-step away. I kept thinking maybe the Australia trip wasn’t a good idea.
I experienced a mixed bag at my next few races. I didn’t PR the Provo City Half marathon, where I’d set my PR 4 years before, and got lost during the Salt Lake Gran Fondo 65 mile bike ride, taking much longer than I wanted. On the other hand, I had a blast at the Little Red 70 mile bike ride, which I did with my friend Mary. The miles flew past, and I did the ride much faster than anticipated - 4:00:16. It wound up being one of my favorite events of 2017. The course was beautiful, it was well-supported, and the energy was amazing. I definitely want to go back and do that one again.I also had a great experience on a training ride. My Kickr had been acting up for a long time, so over the summer, I mostly rode outside. On one ride, I rolled over some glass, and got a flat tire. Stupid 650 wheels - I wasn’t looking forward to trying to change it and it was the one ride I hadn’t brought my cell phone on. A scruffy-looking construction-worker guy pulled over in his work truck and asked if I needed help. I was a little nervous, but as I looked at the tire, I realized a piece of glass had made a small tear in the tire itself. Not knowing if I could make it home even if I changed the tube, I said a quick prayer, felt okay, and accepted the man’s help. He started telling me that they had a lesson at church Sunday about finding ways to help someone in need. So he decided to stop and help me. Turns out, he had a son out on a mission, and my husband works for the Missionary dept., so we got to talking about that. We had a great conversation on the short drive to my house. When we got home, I gave him some veggies from our surprisingly robust garden (we didn’t think it would do well since it was our first year having a garden there) to thank him. I was grateful he’d been willing to help me.
The week after, I did the American Fork Run Against Cancer half marathon. My second race ever was the 5k version in 2012. Before it started, they announced how much money had been raised to fight cancer. It was huge, and I was overcome with gratitude that I’d had a tiny part in that. It was such a positive feeling to start a race on, that I’d always wanted to go back and do the half marathon, but my race schedule never had room. I still vividly remembered sitting on the grass after that 5k, watching the half marathoners come in and thinking, there’s no way I could ever do that! I was so exhausted after running 3 miles, I was sure I couldn’t run 13! Since then, I had run a few half marathons of course, but I really wanted to go back to that race since I now could indeed run 13 miles!
I decided to try a new strategy. I shut out advice from others, and I decided to start with a slower pace group so I wouldn’t start out too fast, then slowly speed up as I went. I didn’t know if I’d make up enough time to PR or even break 2 hours, which I REALLY wanted, but my main goal was to still feel strong those last 2-3 miles. Before the race, it became evident my body would challenge me. My womanly time came on stronger than it ever had before, and I had visions of running this race with blood dripping down my legs - not something I was particularly wanting to do. Eric pointed out some supplies he’d just happened to spot on a table, so I quickly grabbed something and took off to the porta potty with only a couple of minutes before start time. I took care of business, said a little prayer and we were off! I paced myself well, and only had to stop at a porta potty once about 3 miles in - for #2. Only one stop is great for me!
I set out again, just focusing on keeping my hr lower than usual and enjoying it. The drumline at around mile 6-7(?) really pumped me up (always a band nerd!). I happened to look down at my watch at the halfway point and saw I was just about at 1:02, which would put me close to my old PR time. I stayed determined to not let this get to me though so I wouldn't push too hard and lose it around mile 8-9 like I usually did.I continued my fuel and hydration plan, being so careful to do both at even intervals (something I’m not super great at). I checked my watch at about mile 8.5, took stock and realized, hey, I feel GREAT! That has NEVER happened to me in a half marathon. So, I decided to pick it up a little, pushing up all the little hills.
With 2 miles left, I caught up to the 2:05 pacer, who had left at least 2 min before me in the first wave. I realized if I stayed with the pacer, I'd finish 2 min faster, or a 2:03 which would be a PR. But I was still feeling sooo amazing, I decided to push past.
The last 3 miles were awesome - I was passing people left and right, also a first for me in a half marathon. I can't tell you how many times I've been in the last three miles and fell apart and had to walk/jog and how frustrating it was to see people zoom past me. So this was exhilarating to me! Still thinking I was on course for around a 2:02 finish, and still feeling great, I decided to push hard the last mile. When we came out of the trees from the trail, I turned up to sprint speed (my favorite) and went as hard as I could. I had refused to look at my watch the last mile, so I had no idea what my final time was, but I was pretty sure I PR'd as I crossed the finish line, trying not to cry.I felt great - not a lot of pain, and I reveled in how strong I'd felt the last three miles. After recovering a few seconds, I glanced down at my watch. 2:00:56. I was overwhelmed with emotion. On one hand, I couldn't believe I'd PR'd by almost 4 minutes after 4 years of trying. On the other hand, I couldn't believe I'd missed breaking 2 hours by 57 seconds (my official time was actually 2:00:55). It took me a good 10-15 minutes to try and get my emotions in check.
If it hadn’t been for that porta potty stop, I would’ve had it. Even with a good time, I was still 138th out of 331 in my age group! 35-39 year-old females are fast! I forced myself to stop thinking about all that though, and just focused on my success - that my new strategy had worked, I had felt like a million bucks the last 2 miles, and I had beaten my PR. Big leap forward towards mental strength.
My big race in July was the Utah Toughman Half. The swim had been cancelled the year before because of toxic algae. This year, the race directors had been trying to negotiate a new venue, but the other stakeholders were being extremely difficult. It was down to the last few days, and no one knew if… or where… this race would take place. I really needed this one to build my endurance for Busso IM. Finally the race directors announced the race would start at a different beach, Lincoln, on the west side of Utah Lake. Algae blooms had flared up in other areas of the lake, but not there. Yet. We all held our breath wondering what would happen. I went into the race feeling confident. I’d biked around most of the course on many training rides and was pretty familiar with it. Even though it was expected to be a hot day, I’d been training in heat and felt the mostly flat course would make it easier. When would I ever learn my lesson?
The swim was a 2-loop triangle. A section on two sides of the triangle smelled strongly like cow poo. It was awful swimming in, but it did propel me forward so I could get out of the water faster! The first lap on the bike was great. I felt strong. But, the second lap was getting hotter and I wasn’t doing fantastic on nutrition and water. I had a pretty fast bike time and was once again happy to get out on the run, determined to get a 70.3 half marathon PR. No such luck. Most of the run had no shade, and after the turnaround, we got blasted with the hot wind. We’d been running/walking in an oven on the way out. The sun sucked all the life out of me, and I couldn’t keep up my pace. My goal changed to finishing without needing an IV. I got ice every chance I could - holding it in my hands and dropping it down my shirt. I also tried to be very careful with water and nutrition. I kept thinking, this will be good training for the Las Vegas half Ironman in September, as it will likely be hot there. And who knows what the weather will be like in Australia. I wanted to quit, but I didn’t. At the finish line, my favorite part of the entire day was sticking my legs in the ice bath. Another step closer to mental strength.
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