Lessons learned in remodeling an old home

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted, and I apologize. Getting married, remodeling a house, blending two families, and landing a great job were all a bit higher on the priority list. I thought about switching to a new blog, since I no longer have to wonder who my knight in shining armor is. But, this blog is where it all started, so this is my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

The topic of conversation today features all the cool stuff I learned during my one-month (well... still on-going... stupid bathroom) crash course in home remodeling. Sure, I volunteered at some Habitat for Humanity days and learned a thing or two... totally not the same as remodeling your own home. So, here is my short list of lessons learned for my adventurous, frugal inexperienced friends.

1. No matter how hard you try, dust will own your entire home during a remodel. You can duct tape plastic over an area all you want. But sheet rock and mudding dust seem to possess rabbit-like qualities - they keep multiplying x 1,000.

2. Most commonly asked question during a remodel - "Have you seen my ___" There are many variations of this question, such as "I just set down my ___ 30 seconds ago and now it's gone!" Then there's the more demanding, "Get me my ___! Now!" Or my favorite, "Where the ____ is my ______?!" I swear the Littles stole it! I didn't touch it!

3. Food consumed most often at a remodel site - Pizza. And not just any kind of pizza - after spending $500+ at Home Depot for the upteenth time that week, Little Caesars is about all you can afford. Now where did the paper plates go.....

4. Most injured part of the body during a remodel - fingers. These can't-live-without-'em built-in tools come into direct contact with countless dangers. Nails; screws; sharp, pointy undecipherable objects; an errant hammer being slung aside by a frustrated worker; liquid nails; broken pipes; and my personal favorite - itchy, tiny pieces of glass from those danged endless lengths of insulation.

5. Words you never want to hear:

"Grab a bucket, quick!" accompanied by the sound you'd most often hear coming from a water slide.

"uh oh"... followed by a loud crash.

"It doesn't fit" followed by a discouraged sigh, and yet another trip to Home Depot.

"I can't remember where this piece goes." Followed by strange earthreal sounds hours later... when you can no longer remember that you didn't put that missing piece in anywhere, so you don't have the foggiest idea where the noise is coming from.

6. All deadlines will get pushed back at least a week.

7. Plan on Ironman-sized outbursts, stomach issues and various unknown illnesses, stress-levels, aching muscles and exhaustion.

8. If you get desperate, duct tape is still the best tool ever!

9. Loads of people (probably your neighbors) have been through exactly what you are going through. Plan a few pizza parties so you can sympathize with each other about the non 16-on-center studs; duct work that is no longer made, so impossible to match up to new material; and old pipes that stink up the entire house for days after removing the toilet.

10. Do NO TRY TO REMODEL AN ENTIRE BASEMENT, UPSTAIRS BATHROOM, TWO KITCHENS and REPAINT THE UPSTAIRS IN A MONTH. Sorry, not gonna happen... at least if you're doing most of the work yourself!

This series of unfortunate events may give Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire a run for their money, and yes, it was more stress that I cared to handle right after failing at my first Ironman and getting married, but looking back, I learned so many new things it boggles my mind. I spent a lot of time with my new hubby. And I have a deep sense of satisfaction when I think, every time I walk into our newly finished basement or upstairs bathroom, hey, I insulated those walls. I may suck at most other remodeling projects, but I can insulate walls and ceilings. And caulk like nobody's business. I also gained a HUGE amount of respect and admiration for my husband and all of his knowledge when it comes to fixing, building, and solving unsolvable construction dilemmas. Thank you honey!

Kids, don't try this at home.