The Real Victories

With Ironman Cozumel a mere 18 days away, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the past year and a half – since my very first 5k race. I’ve been trying to collect a boat load of information, tips, positive thoughts, quotes, etc. to take with me and repeat to myself during that long 140.6 miles. I’ve watched inspirational videos, read inspirational stories, and posted tons of inspirational quotes on my Facebook page. I’ve asked friends who have completed full Ironmans what are the top rookie mistakes and what they would have taken with them for their first race. I feel like I’ve done everything I can to prepare for this race, even with my limited experience and time constraints.

But what it all comes down to, and the underlying theme for most of my posts this past year, is the mental preparation. My friends who are doing this race without much training at least have the knowledge they’ve finished an Ironman before. I don’t have that. I’ve never done anything like this before. All I have is the little victories I’ve amassed over the past year. These victories aren’t the ones you can see. Sure, I can walk downstairs and admire the 26 medals hanging on the wall. I see my own personal leaning tower of Pisa of race shirts in my closet every day. I completed my first 5k, 10k, half marathon, full marathon, sprint triathlon, Olympic triathlon, and half Ironman races all in a year and 3 months. I did my first triathlon a mere 2 months after deciding to learn how to swim. I not only completed a triathlon 9 days after heart surgery, but placed first in my age group. And one year after my first full sprint triathlon, I’ll complete a full Ironman.

Those are all incredible accomplishments. Especially for someone who has always been afraid of the water and who never thought of herself as an athlete, and who never had the self-confidence to even try some of these things five years ago. But honestly, those aren’t the big wins for me. So below is my list of real accomplishments over this past year – those small moments that have meant more to me than any amount of race shirts or finisher’s medals. I’ve also linked to some of the blog posts that go into more detail about those races.

As you read through these, I want you to think over the past year and a half. What have those moments been for you? Can’t think of any? Then it’s high time to get out of your comfort zone and try something you never thought you could. The rewards of overcoming fear, pain, disappointment, exhaustion, and trials will mean more to you than anything tangible.

Mandy’s list of Yee Haw! Moments – May 2012- Nov 2013

May 2012 – my first 5k. I never imagined I could go 3.1 miles in a running race. As I looked at the half marathoners finishing, I thought, I could never do that. I was just excited to have finished my first 5k!

October2012 – I completed my first half marathon. My ankle had started hurting really badly about 7 miles in – it felt like it cracked. Not knowing any better, and quitting never entering my mind, I kept going. And I realized, contrary to my thoughts 5 months before, I can do a half marathon.

Nov 2012 – my first almost triathlon (It snowed so we didn’t do the bike portion). Although I had to stop every 50 meters to catch my breath, and I had to back stroke a lot (the swim was last), I did 350 meters (in 17 minutes). I wanted to jump out of the pool halfway through and say I was done. But I kept going, surely the slowest swimmer there. And I finished!

Dec 2012- My first official sprint triathlon in Palm Springs, CA. The weather was gorgeous, the water wasn’t too cold. My first open water swim ever. I was scared to death. During the swim, I had to back stroke a lot, but I just kept going. One of the last ones out of the water, and running like a drunken sailor, I was filled with excitement and accomplishment! That feeling carried over into the bike and run and I passed quite a few people. It was such an amazing feeling! I never in a million years would have thought I could actually swim in a race!

Feb 2013 – Ragnar Del Sol. During my third and final leg, I got lost. By the time I finally got back on the course, I was trying desperately to not let tears fall. I had never experienced such pain shooting up and down my leg (from my IT band). Even if I wanted to quit, I couldn’t because there was no one from my van around to help. My six mile run turned into 8.5. Around six miles, when I kept thinking, I should be finishing by now, it hit me that I was on my own. There would be no help, no rescuing. I had to man up and keep going until I got to the exchange. So I willed myself to not stop. But at the same time, I felt so alone, I had feelings of desperation and I was worried about my IT band. But somehow, I kept going because I knew that was the only way. When I rounded the last corner and saw my teammate, relief flooded over me. And when I collapsed in Kermit’s arms, I couldn’t believe I’d done it. The relief I felt at being safe, and done, was incredible.

April 2013 – Three weeks before this, I’d done a splash triathlon and my SVT heart condition kicked in on the run. It was so hard. I was in pain and exhausted, but I kept going. I kept thinking, I don’t ever want to do another race where my heart messes up again. Then on April 13^th, nine days after heart surgery, I took a total leap of faith to complete another splash triathlon. I expected to be the last one in to the finish line. I wasn’t sure what to expect so close post-surgery. But then I started running and felt so amazing. No racing heart, no pain, no exhaustion. Then when I saw the standings after the race and saw I placed first in my age group, I couldn’t believe it! The surgery worked!

May 2013 – Ogden Marathon. Wet. Cold. Long. That’s about all I have to say about that. Knowing I could finish this race despite the weather conditions was a huge boost.

June 29,2013 – Rock Cliff Triathlon. Three weeks before, I’d had to drop out of the swim at the Boise Half Ironman. My self-esteem took a huge hit and I’d been beating myself up ever since. As soon as the swim at Rock Cliff started, which was also my first Olympic distance triathlon, I panicked. It was a 2-lap swim and one of the guys on a surfboard stayed close by for most of my first lap. I had to hold on 2-3 times to the board to try and calm down. I was planning on quitting after the first lap. But then all of a sudden, something clicked in my head, and at the start of my second lap, I just put my face in the water and swam – and kept swimming. I experienced an even stronger feeling of accomplishment when I finally got out of the water. Success after a huge failure is so much sweeter!

August 24, 2013 – Utah Half Ironman – I was so tired on the bike during this race. I couldn’t imagine running a half marathon after biking 56 miles. As I neared transition, I thought about dropping out because I was just so tired. But somehow, as I left transition, I felt energized again and ran the first mile and a half. The rest was pretty slow, but learning I could keep going even when I was so tired was an amazing feeling.

October2013 – two races this month taught me a lot. St. George marathon was a lesson that things don’t usually go according to plan, but even when in a lot of pain, I can keep pushing through and finish. The Provo Halloween Half marathon taught me that again, I can not only suffer through pain, but I can keep running through pain. And, there will always be someone to catch me at the end.

November 2013 – The moment I lapped someone in Master’s swim class, I wanted to stop and start jumping up and down in the water. I thought back to all my struggles with swimming – the first few races swimming mostly on my back, all the times I was one of the last ones out of the water, and not finishing Boise, and was amazed at how far I’ve come. And super excited to know I’m not the slowest swimmer anymore.

These moments mean more to me than anything else during my journey over the past year and a half. I’m sure I’ll have quite a few of those moments in Cozumel. But, I’ve learned I can keep going in bad weather, overcome panic in the water, keep going even when I’m tired or don’t follow my nutrition plan very well, and that I can keep going even when I’m in pain, when I feel alone, and when I feel discouraged. And I will be an Ironman!

So, what are your little victories?