I really CAN do hard things - and so can you

With graduation from grad school on my calendar this week, I’ve been in a state of reflection for quite a few days now. I’ve felt so many instances of happiness, contentedness, empowerment, and strength. Along with the good there’s always bad, of course. And as I’ve mentioned before, that usually comes in a series of negative thoughts that lash into my heart. But I’ve been fighting to counteract those all week, and for the most part, have been fairly successful.

At graduation, many tend to look both to the past and future – at all they’ve accomplished, and at all the possibilities that lay before them. I wanted to share something that’s been prominent on my mind all week, and offer a challenge.

Someone who I’ve grown very fond of has taught me a lot of things over the past 10 months plus some change. But there is one thing that trumps all others. They challenged me once with the idea that I can do hard things. I’ve always questioned my ability to take on hard things. Fear of failure, of ridicule, or just the fear of the voices in my head that I knew would attack me the entire way up the mountain have stopped me before, or delayed me, from reaching the top. But over the past several months, I’ve come to believe that my person was right, and that phrase has now become my mantra. Here’s why.

When I was desperately trying to complete all the requirements to finish my Master’s last summer, I got to the point where I was ready to quit. It was the most agonizing experience I’ve ever had. But this person kept encouraging me, and telling me, you’re so close, don’t give up now. So I kept going, and I finished. Over the past two days, I’ve had a hard time keeping the tears in check. I did it.

When I first started learning how to swim, I got frustrated so many times, as I’ve talked about here in my blog. Yet every time, this person reminded me how far I’d come, and they knew I could do it, I just had to keep trying, and literally “just keep swimming”. In December, I did my first triathlon. I did it.

When I was training for my first half marathon, I remember the first time I tried to run 8 miles. Sheer misery! I kept thinking, there is no way I can do this! How am I ever going to do an ironman if I can’t even run 8 miles?? But as this person rode their bike while I slugged along, slapping my rear end with a twig when I wanted to give up, I just kept going (although I really wanted to grab that freaking stick and shove it up their… well, you know). Today, I can run 8-10 miles like it’s no big deal. I’ve run two half marathons, I’m running another one in a week, and a full marathon in three weeks. I did it.

Some very trying and difficult circumstances came up at the end of last year/beginning of this year. I was an emotional mess. I came “this close” to throwing in the towel and letting the other person involved just have their way because I couldn’t take it anymore, even though I knew that wasn’t the best solution. At all. Always by my side, my person jumped in without being asked, took charge of the situation when I was about to fall apart, handled most of it for me until I could on my own again, and didn’t let me give in. And now, the worst of the crisis has passed (I hope). I did it.

When my heart episodes got worse, I didn’t want to see a doctor. I don’t like doctors, hospitals, medicines, and big ‘ole medical bills. But this person would not back down. They kept on me until I made that doctor’s appointment, challenged me with my decision so I’d make sure to make the right one, and then supported me 100% when I made the decision. I did it, and now my heart is amazing.

The past couple months haven’t been easy. We’ve both wanted to throw in the towel. Unfortunately, I did a couple of times. But not once did this person give up on me. Without their support, their pushing me to keep going, look at that list of things I wouldn’t have accomplished. All because they believed in me.

I didn’t know… or perhaps just didn’t recognize… what it was like, aside from my parents, to have someone in my life who truly believed in me, who was always there for me, who always pushed me – because they knew I could do it. Thanks to that, and the example they set of never giving up, and of always encouraging others to not give up, my life is forever changed. Now I have full confidence that I can do hard things. Because I’ve done many hard things. And I know there are more hard things to come. But I know I can do it.

I want other people to know what it feels like to have someone who believes in them. It’s sometimes hard to trust that people really believe in us and have our back. It’s hard to know if they are “just saying that” or if they really mean it. But I want others to feel what I’ve felt. And you know what, that’s what love is. Believing in someone – even when they don’t believe in themselves. Not giving up on them, even when you’d like to run away or at the very least slap some sense in them.

Not just that, but I want others to know what it feels like to KNOW they can do hard things. To have faith and confidence in themselves. I can tell you, it is one of the best feelings I know of.

Now that I have my Master’s, I’m not done. Mark my words, I will do great things. I’ve been given an amazing example and gift, and I have every intention of passing it on. I’m still young. I have my whole life ahead of me, and I’m not giving up or slowing down.

So to my future night… wherever he may be… I invite you to come with me on this adventure. Hopefully you have the same goals as I do – to pass along the gifts you’ve received to others. It’s not going to be easy, but it sure as heck will be worth it. Because I will make a difference. I will leave my mark on this world – in people’s lives. I don’t know how yet. And I know this will be another hard thing. But thanks to my person, I KNOW I can do hard things.