I have no
idea how many thousands of meters I’ve swam since I first started learning how
to swim last September. I also probably couldn’t count the thousands of times I’ve
had to stop and start over, the number of times I’ve choked on water, and the
frustratingly humongous number of times I’ve tried to get the same technique
down.
I know
there are tons of swimming analogies out there. Like trying not to drown in
troubled waters, and having faith to walk on water (if you figure that one out,
by the way, please let me know the secret). I’ve come upon my own analogy this
week. That of making mistakes, second chances and forgiveness.
Swimming
is a whole new world to me. Just like Aladdin knew there was a palace, lots of
food, people with manners, and knew there was a princess, I knew there was this
world of swimming. I knew that somehow, people managed to stroke and kick from
one end of the pool to another… without drowning! Also like Aladdin, who didn’t
know how in the world to be a prince, I had no idea how to stay afloat in
the water without sinking. But I knew it was possible.
As I
started learning how to swim, I began to see it was a matter of precise
combinations of stroking, kicking and breathing that kept one from merely
thrashing around pitifully – even in the kiddie pool. I’ve watched countless
videos. I’ve listened to my coach and others provide advice on technique to
help me easily glide through the water (yeah, still working on that). But
sometimes, I just feel like I keep making mistakes. Sometimes, it’s the same
mistakes over and over.
Now for
the analogy part. I’ve learned swimming for me is also a lot like
relationships. No one has a perfect family growing up. Every family has
problems. But there are plenty of things we need to work on, and make better
from the family we grew up in, if we want to have successful relationships.
Unfortunately this week, I made the same mistake again. I’ve had the experience
of being with someone in the past who wasn’t good about speaking up when I made
the same mistake again, nor were they adept at forgiving and forgetting – or encouraging
me on making the appropriate changes. There were, however, a master at holding
a grudge. That grudge festered until one day, they exploded. And by then, it
was too late to fix anything. I never got a second chance. I didn’t realize
what I was doing wrong, and I kept making the same mistake.
It hit me
hard today how amazing it would be if I could get a second chance. Like
Pinocchio or Snow White on Sunday’s episode of Once Upon a Time. They both made
mistakes. Unfortunately for Pinocchio, he didn’t fix it until it was too late. Snow
White on the other hand, had people who loved her, didn’t give up on her, and
encouraged her. And by the end, she realized she could change.
As I was feeling
down on myself, it hit me – how many times have I withheld forgiveness from
someone? How often have I made someone feel worse, especially when it was just
an honest mistake? In my first triathlon, I accidentally grabbed someone’s
foot, and someone else did to me. It wasn’t on purpose. I’ve been trying so
hard at swimming, and at relationships. But I’m going to make mistakes.
When
someone says, all I want is for someone to accept me for who I am… I realized
that what they are really asking for is forgiveness. Because we all make
mistakes. How much easier would it be if we knew that someone wasn’t going to
abandon us when we made an honest mistake, that they would give us the benefit
of the doubt, and they would give us another chance.
The water
can be forgiving. It won’t give us a black eye or a broken heart – and if we
know how, we can lay there and float while we catch our breath. But water can
drown us. And sometimes we might feel like we’re drowning in mistakes. So what
I’ve learned this week is this – the next time someone says to me I’m sorry or
I just want you to accept me for who I am, I’m going to do what I hope they
would do for me – remember that they are trying their hardest to improve their
technique, but they’re going to make mistakes sometimes. And then I can forgive
them. And just love them. I pray they will not give up on me, will keep
encouraging me, forgive me, and not abandon me. Aladdin finally figured it out,
and hopefully I have too – before it’s too late.
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